Last night Eric and I went out dancing at THE MOVIE, our favorite night club here in Germany. We knew full well that this would be our last time
... We wont have much time for partying anymore. Too much to do.
We watched the dancers moving on the floor with the flashing lights spilling over them. An old Red Hot Chili Peppers song was playing. Everyone was laughing, singing a long and enjoying themselves. I remember when I first entered this club 3 and a half years ago. I remembered dancing with my sister here, I remembered all the meetings with our friends in the past, all the memories...
"Who would have thought I'd end up here in Germany?", I said thoughtfully. " I never would have thought..."
Eric smiled "It was all inevitable..you knew it from the beginning", He said
I gazed at him. Then I took his hand and we went out to dance one last time.
"I'm going to miss this..." I said afterwards.
"Me too", Eric glanced at me, and I snapped a blurry photo of the moment, just before we left
We stayed up late last night, chatted a bit online, Watched a movie and than settled down for a round of word scrabble
I don't know how many people have this game still. It was popular in the mid-seventies. It's similar to scrabble, but you have to form sentences instead of words.
We didn't want to sleep, It's as though we want to hold on to every last moment together here in Germany because I know we're going to be separated soon.
I was feeling down on myself this morning...
Sometimes I feel like my life is on the right track and things aren't going so bad.
I graduated college, got married to the love of my life and worked as an artist in Europe. I've traveled to Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin and other cities that as a teenager I only dreamed about. I think to myself "Hey, I'm only in my twenties and I have so much ahead of me
...I look at my mother.
When she was my age
, she already owned a home, had 2 cars in the garage, and 2 children. She had a full-time good paying job, and a savings account. She was responsible, mature and had things under control.What do I have?
I don't quite measure up. I'm not quite ready to even have my first child. I don't own a home, or a car or even have a pension plan. I feel like my time is running out and I have a lot of catching up to do.
I suddenly feel old
and I can't shake this feeling.
Although I lived life to the fullest and I don't have any regrets about the path I took. It's time to make a change
I've also decided to just go to the German dentist
and get the appointment over with. Be prepared for some moaning again next week after the experience. Since the 2 cavities are so tiny, not even visible and causing no pain, I'll do it with out novocaine to avoid the additional cost. I'll call Dr. Donald Sutherland on Monday to schedule the appointment.
I made it to my mid-twenties without a single cavity and all of a sudden...wham!
I guess it was inevitable. My change in diet was drastic when I came to Deutschland, I discovered the wonderful world of German sweets. I've become like that little German boy in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Now It's time to pay up.
I blame Lindt, RitterSport, Nutella and Milka for this.
chat room is incredibly addictive. I highly recommend others test this on their pages. You can write to the administrator on the website (here
) and request access. There's just a short survey you have to fill out.
In the past few days, I've chatted with Candoor
. Eric and I had a fun chat conference with Lisa
. We also spent some time having an enlightening conversation at 2:30 A.M. with Retro-diarist
. (I wish Alwaysmuted
could have stayed a while longer, it was great chatting with her too) A member of the 3bubbles team
even visited here and chatted with a few of my buddies while I was out last night. It was so much fun reading the logs when I returned. I missed a lot of the friends that dropped in to say "hi"
So I'll keep it up for a while, this way everyone has a chance to join in if they'd like. Go on try it out, it's fun.
Now I have to return to what I was doing before I sat down to type up this photoblog entry...