Friday, March 31, 2006
Everything is a mess.

Our formerly clean studio/Spare bedroom is now in shambles. It was emptied and now it is slowly being filled with boxes and trash. There is dust twisting in the air and nothing looks like it used to anymore.

We've been packing up everything and taking apart our furniture. Shelves that used to be filled to the brim with books and trinkets are now empty and desolate.

The strangest things make my eyes fill with tears. Such as having to put my 9 year old TV/VHS player on the curb.

Back in 1997, My father bought this for me. I carried it with me everywhere. I must have seen "Reality Bites" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's" a million times on that little thing. Looking at that television brings back so many memories of a time long gone and now VCR tapes are basically obsolete.

I'm also throwing out a lot of my clothing and fitting everything into 2 suitcases. Every shirt has a memory and a story. Sometimes it was actually painful to put a certain article of clothing in the Donation bag. I thought "I wore that shirt the first time I met Eric" "I remember buying this shirt when I was 17 years old at a flea market" "these used to be my favorite pair of jeans..." There are things I rarely wear, but didn't want to throw away for reasons of nostalgia. But it all ended up in the bag. I zipped the suitcases and twisted the donation bag shut.

Then It was tossed in the studio with the rest of the junk. I can't look back.

I actually began to cry at one point. I don't know why this move is so hard for me. I've only had 2 big moves in my lifetime. Moving from home to Florida for college, and then moving from Florida to Germany.

Does it get any easier? Is it always going to be like this every time? why is so damn hard to let go?

How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Was it this painful for you?

I have to log off, We have a birthday party to attend, and then it will be back to packing for the rest of the night.

On Monday this entire flat has to be empty.

posted by Clarity25 at 12:35 PM | 26 comments
Thursday, March 30, 2006
The topic for this weeks Thursday challenge is "Tools".

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For as long as I've known Eric, He has been using this tool. The first time I saw it, I just stared at it in confusion. It's huge, extremely heavy and covered in rust. He pulled it out of the tool box, stuck a drill bit into the front and began cranking the handle.

"Where...on earth..did you get that? What IS it?"

"It's a drill, It used to belong to my great grandfather" Eric lugged it over to the dresser he was creating and began drilling holes with it. It seemed to take a lot of effort and muscle power to achieve the same results as a modern power drill. "He gave it to me when I was a young boy, Everything I've built since then has been with this. I take it with me everywhere and it's the only thing I have left to remind me of my great grandfather. It has really held up over the years. It's sturdy and reliable. Naturally, since it's German-made."

It always fascinated me, so it seemed like the perfect subject for this topic. After that photo was taken, Eric placed it in a moving box with the rest of them and duct taped it shut. It's coming with us to America, He wants to hand it down to our child as a keepsake.


Between work and the move, I've been a bundle of stress.

Last night we decided to go out and unwind for a few hours. It was Wednesday night which is Karaoke night at the Irish Pub. We thought we would go in there one last time...

It was 2 for 1 drinks. So we ordered a blow job, Becks and some Galoise for old time sake. It was a gift from Yelayna. (she'll know what I mean -- and see? we did exactly what you had asked!)

It was such a fun night, but the realization that it was the last time we'd be doing this... made me incredibly wistful. It had become a wednesday night ritual and hang-out with our friends. I can still remember the first time I came to the Irish pub a year and a half ago. It was such a new experience for me that I had written an entire diary entry about it.

There's a man that comes in every Wednesday night and sings "Can you feel the love tonight". Every time he gets on stage, his face lights up and he looks so happy. In the beginning his singing was pretty bad, but he has improved after a year of experience. Everyone knows him now and cheers him on. I think it might be the highlight of his entire week, you can tell he loves it so much. Everyone in the audience began singing along with him.

I looked around the room and my eyes filled with tears.

I'm going to miss this.

Okay, I don't want to start feeling sad again. It's time to move on.


There have been a lot of storms lately and the skies have been threatening. I hope I can see some sun soon, It's begin to cause my mood to drop. Constant rain beating on the windows and rumbles of thunder. I watched the water droplets slide down the glass this morning while I had my morning cup of coffee and was filled with a melancholy that was hard to shake. .

I took some photos yesterday on our way to work

Walking through the pathways in the woods was a little darker than usual. I looked up and all the thin naked branches were moving slowly in the slight breeze. The branches look like veins or twisted fingers reaching out...

For some reason I held Eric's hand tighter than usual. I felt scared. Not of the trees, but a deeper fear of the future.


Today we were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, Eric said "You realize at this point since we haven't been called in for the final interview yet, we can give up hope for the Green Card arriving on April 3rd"

"I know"

"We knew this could take up to 3 months, and it's only been 2"

"I know...I just had so much hope...nothing is working out like we had planned"

"It's going to be okay"

I know this. Really I do. I just wanted to be home for my brother's birthday, I just wanted to see my father before he left for Iraq again.

I feel like we're STUCK. The parking meter has expired. We don't have any more coins to add to buy more time and we can't get the car started. We're just sitting together in the front seat, waiting...

So on April 3rd we're moving out and into a new location in Germany. We can't return to the U.S. just yet.

"Just think of it as another adventure" Eric said taking my hand. "At least we haven't been separated yet"


We both know he wont be on that plane with me to America. He's going to have to join me later and the way things are going...we don't know when that will be.

I hate this.


Okay, before I log off. Here's some more 3 Bubbles tech news. Drew from the 3bubbles team sent me an E-mail with some answers to commonly asked questions.

Yes, When this service is launched to the general public it will be FREE.

You will be able to resize it, change the format and add the chat bubble to the side bar of your template

The problems people have been having. (i.e. Not being able to enter the room, being blocked or only seeing an empty box all the time) is due to an Ad blocker in your firewall system. He said it would help if people told them the specs of their ad blocker and their browser when they report bugs so that they can fix the problem. They are working on it. Also as time goes on all the bugs will be ironed out. (such as the chatter and spectators numbers being messed up.)

He is receiving a large number of requests to be a beta-tester right now. But if you'd like this nifty toy on your page. He said to write him an E-mail with your Blog URL and info at
He requested that you mention I sent you, so he knows to move you to the top of his list.

That's all the updates for now. This has been a fun week beta-testing 3Bubbles, I've gotten to know so many of the people reading this and sometimes I laughed so hard during chat conversation I had tears in my eyes! Eric had never been in a chat room before and now he's "lol" ing and using smiley face symbols like a "pro". Good times. Thank you everyone for joining in and trying it out. It's amazing how in only one week, so many different bloggers from all over the world connected with eachother. We live in a fascinating time, with technology allowing us to interact with people from all over the globe.

I'll have this up for a few more days, then I'll probably change it into a badge link on my side bar. Time to head to work.

posted by Clarity25 at 2:06 AM | 14 comments
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Observations on Germany
My time here in Germany is coming to an end. I've been reflecting this morning on some of the things I've learned about this country during the past 3 and a half years.

I thought I'd take a minute to type up some of these observations before I forget them.

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1. Once you know something, you see it with different eyes. At first everything was so strange and alien to me. Now it's simply Germany, nothing special. I've gotten so used to this way of life. I think America will feel strange to me now when I return home. I discovered that Germany was NOT like the black and white footage I saw from the 1940's in history class. Everything falling apart, women walking around with puffy sleeves, men with Lederhosen and Nazi's running through the streets.

2. It's quite safe. People walk around a lot and ride their bicycles over the bike paths.

3. The windows swing open like little glass doors and there are no window screens.

4. Germans smoke... a great deal. Ashtrays are located in all the public bathrooms, in the video-stores, the cafes and in some stores. If you ask to be seated in the "Non-smoking area", they'll just laugh at you. If you're not a social smoker, you're liable to become one in Germany.

5. You can't shop on Sunday and good luck finding a party on a Monday night.

6. Bars only close when the customers leave. There isn't any 2 A.M. "last call for alcohol" rules. You can easily party until 6 A.M., and then move on to the breakfast buffet. People are allowed to drink on the street and in their cars. (just not the driver, naturally). The drinking age is 16 but I've seen 13 year olds ordering a beer with their parents.

7. Germans eat A LOT of breadrolls and cheese.

8. Thomas Gottschalk (wetten Dass) is the most beloved and hated showmaster. (he also has a foot fetish)

9. If you turn on a random German television station, you're likely to find a group sitting in a circle discussing something. Eric finds this fascinating. I just can't watch 6 old men arguing about politics for 3 hours straight without falling asleep. They just go around in circles.

10. Germans complain a lot about the state of affairs. They're very educated about politics and history. (Particularly regarding America). When you say "How are you?" to a German, It isn't going to equal "I'm fine, and you?". When you say "What's up?", you'll never receive the response "Oh nothin". You get a long spiel about everything that is occuring in their life, health problems, relationships and full mental state. So don't ask, if you don't really want to know. They aren't familiar with the American way of saying "how you doin?" as simply a standard polite greeting. This is an aspect of the culture I like, I've had the most interesting and thought-provoking conversations with my German friends.

14. There are a lot of different nationalities living in Germany, but you wouldn't think there is so much first glance.

15. Not all Germans have blond hair and blue eyes. In fact, many don't.

16. Almost every German (under the age of 40) LOVES to speak English, but at first they will claim that they can not. The line I've heard most often ="My English is not so good" -- a massive lie in every case. All of Eric's friends speak to me in perfect English. My boss sometimes comes downstairs just to talk with me in English because it's so much fun for him. As an American, you will become a novelty item because most Germans have the English language skills, but no one to use it with.

17. You have to bring all your bottles back to the store. EVERYTHING is recycled.

18. Bavaria (a.k.a. "It's a small world after all") isn't Germany. - so they claim (?) Might as well be it's own separate country. Interesting.

19. Carefully cut off the top of a boiled egg with a sharp knife, then scoop they contents out of the shells with a tiny little spoon. They have special little fancy egg holders and even decorative Egg mittens so they don't get cold. Eating an egg is an event.

20. Good friends (same sex or not) hug and kiss - often times on the lips when greeting eachother. The first time Eric's Aunt did this to me, I was very confused and it was an awkward moment.

21. Germany DOES have a beach...but the water isn't always there! The tide can go out for miles and than comes back in so quickly you can drown.

22. Germans don't bathe in the ocean but mostly in the lakes and rivers. Preferably in the nude.

23. German cities are very green compared to America. You can find a boar wandering in the middle of a city. (locke could go hunting)

24. In Germany you can get millions of different kinds of beers, cheeses, cakes and breadrolls.

25. Germans like to break out singing loudly in masses. (especially after a few beers). They know quite a few American country songs. For example: Play "Sweet Home Alabama" and watch them get down! The old folks like to listen to something terrible, I have no words to describe it but it is called "Schlagger music".

26. German squirrels are creepy.

27. Dogs are EVERYWHERE. You'll trip over them while you're shopping in the stores. They train their dogs to an extraordinary degree. I've begun to suspect that they are robotic dogs and not real.

28. Every apartment has a "HausOrdnung" - It tells you when the garbage has to be taken out, when the stairways need to be mopped, How long and how loud your parties may be, When the front door has to be locked, Who has the shovel the curb in front of the building, when you have to clean the apartment basement (creepy..creepy place) and when music is allowed to be played. If you get confused and slip up on these rules..Your neighbors will hate you. FOREVER.

29. Church bells are ringing all the time - every fifteen minutes

30. All the taxi-cabs are Mercedes Benz.

31. German cars look like go-carts. The Smart Car is so tiny that they actually have mobile homes with a built-in garage for it.

32. Germany doesn't have doorknobs! If you see one, trust me -- It doesn't turn. If you insist on trying, you will only succeed in spraining your wrist. Every door has a lock. Every room has a door (even the livingroom) . If you see a door without a lock, it's probably a closet.

33. Winter stretches on forever. You might not see the sun for months. It's hidden behind a blanket of clouds.

34. For an American woman,, a trip to the German OBGyn might be traumatizing. I'm not going elaborate -- but you've been warned.

35. Every town has it's castle.

36. If someone offers you Bauchspeck, Mett, Schweine Pfoten, Kuddeln, Sau Magen or Eisbein I highly recommend you politely decline.

Bauchspeck = The layer of fat from a pig's stomach

Mett = Raw minced meat, half pork. Half beef. It's usually scooped out of a container and spread on a bread roll.

Schweine Pfoten = Pigs feet

Kuddeln = cow stomach

Saumagen = Pigs stomach

Eisbein = A complete pig leg including the hairs - which get eaten as well and stuck in-between your teeth.

37. The first time I went to a German fair and saw that in the center they had an entire cow twisting on a stick, I felt queasy. When they started cutting off chunks of it's body and began feeding it to crowd, I nearly passed out.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, the weather today was irratic. It was sunny and than dark clouds moved over the horizon. There was a loud thunder storm and harsh rain. Than 20 minutes later it cleared up. I took a walk into town to get lunch during break and snapped a few photos.


By the way..

It was fun waking up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, logging online and seeing a group of friends just hanging out in the chatbox and shooting the breeze last night. It's nice to be able to join in for a few minutes before heading back to bed. Lately I've been so worried about this move, that I wake up a few hours before the alarm goes off and usually flip through the channels for 10 minutes until I feel tired enough to crawl back into bed. Now I can log on and chat, which is pretty cool. It's much better than letting my stresses run on repeat in my head. Thank you to everyone that's been dropping in to say "Hi", it's been great meeting you.

*3 Bubbles has been Temporarily removed - Be back up soon*


Sad news of the day: I called Dr. Frankenstein and the only available appointment for dental work was April 21st.

But I'll be back in America by then..

A pity. Really.... I was so looking forward to it.

oh well

Das ist schicksal....

Alright, I have to log off. late afternoon Break is over and I have a meeting to go to. Lately putting aside 15 minutes to write an entry is the most relaxing part of my day. Too much stress.
posted by Clarity25 at 10:45 AM | 17 comments
Monday, March 27, 2006

I can't believe we're down to the last week.

Spring is here. We were able to open our bedroom window this morning and let in the fresh air. I loved the way the clouds looked as they moved across the sky. Eric and I rested in bed an hour later than we should have, just listening to the birds chirping. It was incredibly relaxing. It's just the little moments like that I want to remember and hold on to.

"Is that a mating call or a scream for help?", I asked referring to one birds loud obnoxious repetitive chirping.

"I don't could be a territorial thing. Like: "hey this is my turf"

"Wait...someone just responded to him...Do you hear that?"

"Well, I hope they hook up"

"me too"

Than we started imitating bird calls. Yeah, I'm sure our neighbors were thrilled but they wont have to deal with us much longer.


On the walk to work this morning, we saw the evidence of spring arriving. We could unbutton our coats and remove our scarves. Eric (a.k.a. "nature boy") began telling me the names of all the small flowers sprouting out in the grass during our stroll. I loved watching him lean down carefully and describe the plants. He's going to be a great father some day, He can even make flower descriptions sound fascinating.

I don't usually take flower pictures, but these hold memories for me now. So I'm posting these to remember this morning. Well, I guess it's an improvement from trashcans and scrabble blocks...

I'm really going to miss our morning walks to the office, soon these days in Germany will only be a memory.


On further tech news...

Yes, I'm still addicted the 3 Bubbles box. New people joined in the chat room this weekend, Eric and I were also able to conference with MoonFaeryy, Rae, Tenshi, RDC, Yelayna, Ricky, Tara, Portia, Dom, Snoozie-girl, Erin, Luna and Danielle. It was a lot of fun, I'm surprised at how much Eric enjoys chatting too. I didn't expect him to join in as often and it's great that he's getting to know some of my blogger pals.

There are still a lot of technical difficulties that need to be ironed out. Whenever there is more than 3 people in the chat room, it starts to get wacky. Maybe that's why it's called 3 bubbles and not 15 bubbles...(?)

Also a number of people said that they couldn't get in. I'm curious how many people have encountered this problem. It might help to let the administrator know how often this occurs. So if you you are reading this, could you do me a favor... type in a nickname and try to send in a greeting. If you are refused access, Please drop me a comment in my notebox. That would help. Also, you might want to try switching over from Mozilla Firefox to Internet Explorer as your browser of choice, reloading the page or making sure that you are able to accept cookies. You might have that option blocked on your computer.

I'll keep the chat box up for a few more days. I think the most fascinating aspect of this chatroom is that my blogger friends are getting to know eachother and chatting for the first time. It's so cool to see people making connections with eachother, sharing their journal URL's and just chatting. Kind of like that Bar in Cheers and it's open to everyone. It makes you realize that we're all connected, even though we live in different parts of the world. Australia, Germany, London, Belgium, U.S., Canada..etc. The time differences add a fascinating twist: one person is just waking up in the morning, the next person is just heading to bed, another person is on their lunchbreak. It's pretty wild.

Alright, I'm just on a much needed break from work. We have to work after hours tonight. I better get back to it...

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This upcoming week is going to be more stressful than I can even imagine. I hope this move goes smoothly and we can wrap everything up in time.
posted by Clarity25 at 12:15 PM | 11 comments
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Strange Currencies

Last night Eric and I went out dancing at THE MOVIE, our favorite night club here in Germany. We knew full well that this would be our last time... We wont have much time for partying anymore. Too much to do.

We watched the dancers moving on the floor with the flashing lights spilling over them. An old Red Hot Chili Peppers song was playing. Everyone was laughing, singing a long and enjoying themselves. I remember when I first entered this club 3 and a half years ago. I remembered dancing with my sister here, I remembered all the meetings with our friends in the past, all the memories...

"Who would have thought I'd end up here in Germany?", I said thoughtfully. " I never would have thought..."

Eric smiled "It was all knew it from the beginning", He said

I gazed at him. Then I took his hand and we went out to dance one last time.

"I'm going to miss this..." I said afterwards.

"Me too", Eric glanced at me, and I snapped a blurry photo of the moment, just before we left

We stayed up late last night, chatted a bit online, Watched a movie and than settled down for a round of word scrabble

I don't know how many people have this game still. It was popular in the mid-seventies. It's similar to scrabble, but you have to form sentences instead of words.

We didn't want to sleep, It's as though we want to hold on to every last moment together here in Germany because I know we're going to be separated soon.

I was feeling down on myself this morning...

Sometimes I feel like my life is on the right track and things aren't going so bad.

I graduated college, got married to the love of my life and worked as an artist in Europe. I've traveled to Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin and other cities that as a teenager I only dreamed about. I think to myself "Hey, I'm only in my twenties and I have so much ahead of me."

But then...

I look at my mother.

When she was my age, she already owned a home, had 2 cars in the garage, and 2 children. She had a full-time good paying job, and a savings account. She was responsible, mature and had things under control.

What do I have? I don't quite measure up. I'm not quite ready to even have my first child. I don't own a home, or a car or even have a pension plan. I feel like my time is running out and I have a lot of catching up to do.

I suddenly feel old and I can't shake this feeling.

Although I lived life to the fullest and I don't have any regrets about the path I took. It's time to make a change within myself...

I've also decided to just go to the German dentist and get the appointment over with. Be prepared for some moaning again next week after the experience. Since the 2 cavities are so tiny, not even visible and causing no pain, I'll do it with out novocaine to avoid the additional cost. I'll call Dr. Donald Sutherland on Monday to schedule the appointment.

I made it to my mid-twenties without a single cavity and all of a sudden...wham! I guess it was inevitable. My change in diet was drastic when I came to Deutschland, I discovered the wonderful world of German sweets. I've become like that little German boy in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Now It's time to pay up.

I blame Lindt, RitterSport, Nutella and Milka for this.


The 3Bubbles chat room is incredibly addictive. I highly recommend others test this on their pages. You can write to the administrator on the website (here) and request access. There's just a short survey you have to fill out.

In the past few days, I've chatted with Candoor, Sarcomical, Autumn and All-on-paper. Eric and I had a fun chat conference with Lisa, Octavia, Meine-Kleine and Alice. We also spent some time having an enlightening conversation at 2:30 A.M. with Retro-diarist. (I wish Alwaysmuted could have stayed a while longer, it was great chatting with her too) A member of the 3bubbles team even visited here and chatted with a few of my buddies while I was out last night. It was so much fun reading the logs when I returned. I missed a lot of the friends that dropped in to say "hi" So I'll keep it up for a while, this way everyone has a chance to join in if they'd like. Go on try it out, it's fun.

Now I have to return to what I was doing before I sat down to type up this photoblog entry...


posted by Clarity25 at 10:38 AM | 19 comments
Thursday, March 23, 2006
3 Bubbles
I spent most of the day painting

I'm working on a difficult portrait assignment, some people are really hard to capture in oil. I just want to pull out my hair in frustration. Right now I'm focusing on the eyes..

I need to take a break.


This morning I received another reminder from my German dentist

"Don't forget to make a follow-up appointment. We haven't heard from you since December"

I wanted to write back: "That's because you tortured me!"

"Maybe you should just bite the bullet and go in to get everything taken care of", Eric suggested. "Our insurance covers it. When we return to America, we might not have health insurance for a while"

"But the experience was a nightmare!"

"But than you can just get it over with... it's not like the dentists in America are any better."

He doesn't understand..but on the other hand, He does have a good point. It's just that after my last visit (READ HERE), I had vowed never to return.

Would YOU go back?

I have 2 options
1. make an appointment for next week and return to this dentist. Just get it over with.
2. Wait until I have health insurance in America and go to the American Dentist...

I'm leaning towards option 2, but Eric says option 1 makes more sense.


One last thing..

I have a new toy...everyone gather around...

*see above entry*

You might be thinking: "What IS that?"

It's an interactive online chat room. 3Bubbles is currently under beta testing and I was one of the "chosen ones" allowed to place it on my website. I think it's a really interesting new development for blogs and online journals..

Real time chatting on a personal website.

There is no registration required, you just type in a nickname and start chatting. If someone else is visiting the website at the same time, you can chat together.

So go on and try it out. Type a shout-out, see if anyone responds. If I'm online, I'll answer. If I'm not online, I'm sure someone else will answer. Everyone reading this can get to know eachother...

Obviously there is no moderator. So everyone try to behave...Right now it's open to everyone, if that doesn't work out well, I'll switch it to registered members only.
posted by Clarity25 at 3:14 PM | 27 comments
"If Eric's papers don't arrive by April 3rd, You are free to stay with my family... we have some space in the basement"

This was the offer our boss made yesterday. It's a relief to know that we'll have somewhere to live if Eric's Green card doesn't arrive in time. I just hope it doesn't come to that. However, the way things are looking right just might.

All of Eric's friends have small apartments and it would be hard for us both to squeeze on their sofas. Eric's guardian mother also has a flat too tiny for both of us. We simply don't have that many options.

Ugh. Stress.


At least we have a new project to work on at the office. I think my despair would be a lot worse if we weren't still working part-time.

I snapped some photos on our way to work this morning. The one thing I really love about Germany are all the sculptures attached to the old buildings. Everywhere you look, there are angels, gargoyles and faces protruding from the architecture..

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I saw this new spray painted message on the side of a building leading into an empty alleyway. It made me stop for a moment and contemplate the meaning...

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"Only three things in life are certain... birth, death, and change"

"Isn't it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties? Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; Perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing it's absurdity.."
-Vaclav Havel

"Every goodbye is the birth of a memory..."
-Dutch Proverbs


My friend, Sarah told me that reading my photoblog made her want to move to Germany. That surprised me. However, Germany is NOT for everyone...

So on a lark I made my own online quiz for anyone considering moving or visiting Germany. This test will help you figure out if this is the country for you. It was fun to make and really easy.
There are three possible outcomes, I took my own test and this is what I ended up with.

Germany is a place you could bare....MAYBE even enjoy.
Germany is a place you could bare....MAYBE even enjoy.
Should you move to Germany? Click here!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

"When you buy your ticket to Germany you might not want to cancel your lease agreement back home right away...

Maybe your skin isn't thick enough, Maybe you just don't enjoy cleaning enough or you're too shy to talk about certain subjects.

You would enjoy good food, solid friendships, strong coffee and 6,000 brands of excellent beer. But it's just not all there is in life for you.

A good training ground to be a better German might be a visit to a nudie beach, a trial membership in Fight club, or a hiking expedition. Remember to broaden your horizon with regards to different ways of life and become more of a stickler when it comes to orderliness.

You might have moments where you feel a little bit like the main character in "Lost in Translation", but the country will grow on you."

That's only slightly better than my first attempt at making a quiz last year. Here it is for those that missed it the first time. It's laughably bad and according to the site 2,226 people have taken it. There are 5 possible 90's characters you could end up with.

You are Casey from "Mad Love"
You are Casey from "Mad Love"
Which 90's movie character are you? Click here!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
You're spontaneous, Idealistic and impulsive. You tend to jump into things without thinking of the consequences. But your life Motto is "Seize the Day"
Okay..So maybe you're...a little crazy. Aren't we all? At least you're fully LIVING. You have no regrets. You're a free soul.

If anyone takes either of these quizzes, let me know what you received. I'd love to find out the results. You should try making one of your own, it's easier than you might think.

Alright, Logging off for now.

posted by Clarity25 at 4:16 PM | 30 comments
Monday, March 20, 2006
The topic for Today's Moody Monday is "lost"

It's a word I can really relate to right now, so I snapped a few pictures on my way to work.

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A lost sock..

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Sometimes you can see the thing you're searching for, but you just can't reach it. It's lost to you, which is even more painful than when it's completely out of your sight.

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This is how I feel sometimes as an American in Germany. Lost and out of place.

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It's already March 20th. We have only two weeks left in our flat...

Every time the phone rings, I'm always hoping and praying it's the American Embassy concerning Eric's Green Card.

It never is.

I'm trying not to let despair set in and I'm struggling to keep the right perspective. If his Green card doesn't arrive in the next 2 weeks, we'll figure something out.

This morning I woke up early, and I felt this sadness. I'm going to miss this flat. It's the little things I'm going to miss though...

The view of the neighbors windows from our livingroom. There's an old lady that lives there and she always looks so happy.

Stepping into the bathroom in the morning to join Eric in the shower.

The frames on the walls, the ones chosen by Eric..

And the ones chosen by me...

The trinkets in our house and the stories behind them... Every time I look at certain statues or figurines it brings back a memory.

That's my Great Grandmother. it's the oldest surviving picture, My Grandmother gave it to me for safe-keeping last year.

I'm going to miss the way the light hits Eric's drum that's always sitting next to the Record collection. He's had that drum for as long as I've known him. (Usually after a few drinks he pulls it out and starts banging on it.)

Pulling that cork out of the Coffee jar and smelling the aroma. Making fresh coffee in our crappy little machine from the 1970's.

Having our traditional German breakfast every morning, the fresh breadrolls and the cheese. Cheese that will cost 10 times as much in America. So I'll have to return to Kraft yellow single slices.

I'll even miss the feeling of complete dread that fills us every time we walk down the building staircase and view that.

(*image removed* - I could get in trouble for posting that)

Our "friendly" neighbor. (It's a common last name here. If you're bored, look up the German Definition for the word "Streit", It fits). Although we had a lot of problems when I first came to Germany. (Read here for the story behind this scary doorbell)... Things got better after the intitial year and I grew to love it here.

That's the front door of the apartment building, that leads out onto the street. We'll be handing over the keys and turning that knob for the final time on March 3rd.

But change is essential, and it'll be a new beginning. I'll be with my family again.


Saturday night we went to meet some friends at a nightclub called the MOVIE, it was free entry before 10. I met another American! It's strange. For 3 and a half years, I couldn't find any other Americans. All of a sudden they all emerge from the woodwork only weeks before I'm leaving. This time it was a 32 year old Katie Holmes look-alike from Kentucky and her British pal. They were so much fun. They insisted on buying us a round of drinks and we sat together talking all night long.

We all staggered home at 5 A.M. laughing. Sunday was just a lot of packing, cleaning and the usual amount of worrying. Nothing worth mentioning.

It's pretty late. I better log off. Speaking of "Lost", A friend just lent us 15 episodes of Season 2. We might curl up on the sofa and watch an episode before we crash. (Michelle, Im catching up with you!)
posted by Clarity25 at 5:13 PM | 35 comments
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Cars and Music
This morning in town, I saw my dream car.

It's an Ente (duck).

I've gotten so used to walking everywhere here in Germany. It's going to be strange returning to America and getting back behind the wheel of a car. We'll have to start putting aside money for one right away otherwise we'll have no chance of getting around. There's really no public transport in the area my family lives in.

My first car was purchased for $1,200 back in 1999. A blue 1986 Camaro. I loved that car even though it had a little more horsepower than I could handle and guzzled gasoline. I have memories of washing it in the garage with my father (his first car was also a Camaro back in the 1960's) We spent hours just talking and bonding. I miss those days. It's been a year and a half since I've seen my father.


Eric, in particular, loved driving that car. I'll never forget his expression when he first saw it. As a child his favorite show was KnightRider, this Camaro was close enough. It also had a talking alarm system. I remember speeding down the Florida highway with the windows open, Eric at the wheel and "Der Kommisar" blasting from the vintage tape deck. I sold it to my brother after college graduation so I could afford to take my first trip into Europe. I haven't had a car of my own since. I wonder what my next car will be...

Well as long as it has 4 wheels and drives. I guess it doesn't matter much. ANY car will do.


Today the weather was overcast and more chilly than usual. The best part of the day was dancing around with Eric in the kitchen to his old Count Basie albums. His jazz albums are really starting to grow on me.

On the topic of music, I snagged this survey from Yeahimadork and Loopy. You just put your IPOD or MP3 player on random shuffle and see what song comes up for each question.

1. What is missing from my life?
War - Edwin Starr

2. Will I find love?
Sex and Candy - marcy Playground

3. Will I become rich?
Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta - Geto boys

4. Does someone have a crush on me?
You've got the music in you - New Radicals

5. What is my favorite sexual position?
Play that funky music - Wild Cherry

6. Am I good looking?
"Son of a Preacher man" - Pulp Fiction soundtrack

7. What makes me the most happy?
Closing time - Semi-sonic

8. What is my biggest regret?
Tub-thumping - Chumbawamba

9. How will I die?
Laura - Scissor Sisters

10. Do I act my age?
Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

11. What type of tattoo should I get?
What I got - Sublime

12. What is my spirit/animal guide?
What's new Pussycat? - Los Fabulosos & fishbone (actually fits!)

13. Do I like pain?
Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chilie Peppers (creepy)

14. Is there anyone else like me out there?
You can't always get what you want - Rolling Stones

15. Do I love to party?
Closer to Spice - Nine Inch Nails and the Spice girls

16. Where should I move to?
Something I can never have - Nine Inch Nails

17. Will I ever be president?
Fantastic - The Pixies

18. What is fun for me?
Butterfly - Crazy town

19. Will I ever learn to fly?
I would walk 500 miles - Proclaimers (guess not)

20. What is my super power?
Crash into me - Dave Matthews Band

21. Will I be successful?
I get by with a little help from my friends - The Beatles

22. How often do I get angry?
Rich girl - Gwen Stefani

23. What is my favorite thing to do?
Mr Jones - Counting Crows.

Some of them fit surprisingly well, some not at all. But it was interesting. I desperately need some new music, almost all of my collection is from the 90's.

We spent most of the day in the office working on a computer animation program. We're going out to a club in 45 minutes. I have to get dressed.

Have a good weekend.
posted by Clarity25 at 3:18 PM | 11 comments