Thursday, March 30, 2006
Melancholy
The topic for this weeks Thursday challenge is "Tools".


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For as long as I've known Eric, He has been using this tool. The first time I saw it, I just stared at it in confusion. It's huge, extremely heavy and covered in rust. He pulled it out of the tool box, stuck a drill bit into the front and began cranking the handle.

"Where...on earth..did you get that? What IS it?"

"It's a drill, It used to belong to my great grandfather" Eric lugged it over to the dresser he was creating and began drilling holes with it. It seemed to take a lot of effort and muscle power to achieve the same results as a modern power drill. "He gave it to me when I was a young boy, Everything I've built since then has been with this. I take it with me everywhere and it's the only thing I have left to remind me of my great grandfather. It has really held up over the years. It's sturdy and reliable. Naturally, since it's German-made."

It always fascinated me, so it seemed like the perfect subject for this topic. After that photo was taken, Eric placed it in a moving box with the rest of them and duct taped it shut. It's coming with us to America, He wants to hand it down to our child as a keepsake.


*****

Between work and the move, I've been a bundle of stress.

Last night we decided to go out and unwind for a few hours. It was Wednesday night which is Karaoke night at the Irish Pub. We thought we would go in there one last time...



It was 2 for 1 drinks. So we ordered a blow job, Becks and some Galoise for old time sake. It was a gift from Yelayna. (she'll know what I mean -- and see? we did exactly what you had asked!)

It was such a fun night, but the realization that it was the last time we'd be doing this... made me incredibly wistful. It had become a wednesday night ritual and hang-out with our friends. I can still remember the first time I came to the Irish pub a year and a half ago. It was such a new experience for me that I had written an entire diary entry about it.

There's a man that comes in every Wednesday night and sings "Can you feel the love tonight". Every time he gets on stage, his face lights up and he looks so happy. In the beginning his singing was pretty bad, but he has improved after a year of experience. Everyone knows him now and cheers him on. I think it might be the highlight of his entire week, you can tell he loves it so much. Everyone in the audience began singing along with him.

I looked around the room and my eyes filled with tears.

I'm going to miss this.

Okay, I don't want to start feeling sad again. It's time to move on.

*****

There have been a lot of storms lately and the skies have been threatening. I hope I can see some sun soon, It's begin to cause my mood to drop. Constant rain beating on the windows and rumbles of thunder. I watched the water droplets slide down the glass this morning while I had my morning cup of coffee and was filled with a melancholy that was hard to shake. .

I took some photos yesterday on our way to work





Walking through the pathways in the woods was a little darker than usual. I looked up and all the thin naked branches were moving slowly in the slight breeze. The branches look like veins or twisted fingers reaching out...





For some reason I held Eric's hand tighter than usual. I felt scared. Not of the trees, but a deeper fear of the future.

****

Today we were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, Eric said "You realize at this point since we haven't been called in for the final interview yet, we can give up hope for the Green Card arriving on April 3rd"

"I know"

"We knew this could take up to 3 months, and it's only been 2"

"I know...I just had so much hope...nothing is working out like we had planned"

"It's going to be okay"

I know this. Really I do. I just wanted to be home for my brother's birthday, I just wanted to see my father before he left for Iraq again.

I feel like we're STUCK. The parking meter has expired. We don't have any more coins to add to buy more time and we can't get the car started. We're just sitting together in the front seat, waiting...



So on April 3rd we're moving out and into a new location in Germany. We can't return to the U.S. just yet.

"Just think of it as another adventure" Eric said taking my hand. "At least we haven't been separated yet"

Yet.

We both know he wont be on that plane with me to America. He's going to have to join me later and the way things are going...we don't know when that will be.

I hate this.

*****

Okay, before I log off. Here's some more 3 Bubbles tech news. Drew from the 3bubbles team sent me an E-mail with some answers to commonly asked questions.

Yes, When this service is launched to the general public it will be FREE.

Yes,
You will be able to resize it, change the format and add the chat bubble to the side bar of your template

The problems people have been having. (i.e. Not being able to enter the room, being blocked or only seeing an empty box all the time) is due to an Ad blocker in your firewall system. He said it would help if people told them the specs of their ad blocker and their browser when they report bugs so that they can fix the problem. They are working on it. Also as time goes on all the bugs will be ironed out. (such as the chatter and spectators numbers being messed up.)

He is receiving a large number of requests to be a beta-tester right now. But if you'd like this nifty toy on your page. He said to write him an E-mail with your Blog URL and info at info@3bubbles.com
He requested that you mention I sent you, so he knows to move you to the top of his list.

That's all the updates for now. This has been a fun week beta-testing 3Bubbles, I've gotten to know so many of the people reading this and sometimes I laughed so hard during chat conversation I had tears in my eyes! Eric had never been in a chat room before and now he's "lol" ing and using smiley face symbols like a "pro". Good times. Thank you everyone for joining in and trying it out. It's amazing how in only one week, so many different bloggers from all over the world connected with eachother. We live in a fascinating time, with technology allowing us to interact with people from all over the globe.


I'll have this up for a few more days, then I'll probably change it into a badge link on my side bar. Time to head to work.

 
posted by Clarity25 at 2:06 AM |


14 Comments:


At March 30, 2006, Blogger khya 

Hey sweetie, just wanted to say it will be alright! Hang in there, the both of you! More great pics from you today, love the one of Eric's drill and love the fact that it's been handed down to him from his GGF, I find it sooo sweet that he wants to hand it down to your children too. Take care!

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous fifi 

Old hand-tools have soul. More so than clothes, or jewelry, or the other relics of family that get passed on.

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous yelayna 

*Huge smiles*

I'm really glad you did that. More so than you can imagine. Exactly how it was meant *hugs*

At March 30, 2006, Blogger Stacia 

I'm sorry things are so up in the air and scary. I hope they get better soon.

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous 

I loved the pictures from today.

I just wanted to wish you and Eric good luck. I imagine how hard it must be for you both right now.:(. It will get better, remember that!!!!

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous blaze 

Ha, well, you have many more reasons to be feeling down than I do...your whole life is about to change. This is a really frustrating, scary time for you, the kind of "grown up" time I'm really not looking forward to...but it'll be over soon enough. Best of luck!

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous Niki 

I love that Eric is sentimental over an object from someone he loves. I have just one thing from my great great grandmother, a beaded necklace, that I adore and love to wear cause I am reminded of her. And one day I will give it to my daughter...keeping the memories of our heritage/relatives is soo incredibly important.

You pictures of the tress are stunning. I just love them!

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous Jules 

Hey Clarity!
I'm Vikki's german "exchange student" from 5 years ago... Just wanted to let you know that she had her baby on monday at 12.30am as far as I understand! Everything is alright with her and Keegan, Michael is with them all the time (she's still in the hospital...)!! But she's doing good! =D
Btw, I love reading your journal! It gives me a little bit from home while I'm in Australia! :]
Take care!
Julia

At March 30, 2006, Blogger Kathleen 

I think that drill is SWEET!!! I'm sure I couldn't use it, since I'm such a wuss, but I'd love to pretend I could.

Okay, next time I send bubbles a message, I'll try to include that information - too bad I don't understand what information they want.

You made my eyes water with your story about karaoke night at the Irish pub. I know exactly how you feel. When I left SF, I had my going away party at my favorite bar to say good-bye to my bar friends and co-workers. It was sad, but it had become the only place in SF where I was happy (and not because I was drinking). ;-)

At March 30, 2006, Anonymous milomilo2 

Around the office a picture of Germany's "Water Bridge" is circulating. Is this an internet hoax? Have you seen/heard of it?

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Patricia 

I liked your photograph for TOOL. You have a great deal of beautiful photography on this webpage. My brother is living in Frankfurt right now. He moved there 8 months ago. I'm going to share this link with him. If that is okay with you.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Janet 

You know what's funny, I am happier when it's raining than sunny for the most part. When we get the first few weeks of sun, I get really emotional, anxious and depressed. I have never been able to figure out why that is.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous reva 

Thanks for all the love and thoughts! You are living the ultimate story - I'm just watching thinking "how the heck is she getting through this??" which I kind of believe that the fates that be take that to mean "We need to test Reva a little more - so she can learn the same great lessons!" ak. You do it with grace and I love watching you get through it all with class. I'm just not sure I have those same skills... but I'm afraid I'm going to have to get them, or else...;)

At April 01, 2006, Anonymous Mary 

I really relate to your writing. I like your photographs



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