Friday, March 31, 2006
Everything is a mess.

Our formerly clean studio/Spare bedroom is now in shambles. It was emptied and now it is slowly being filled with boxes and trash. There is dust twisting in the air and nothing looks like it used to anymore.

We've been packing up everything and taking apart our furniture. Shelves that used to be filled to the brim with books and trinkets are now empty and desolate.

The strangest things make my eyes fill with tears. Such as having to put my 9 year old TV/VHS player on the curb.

Back in 1997, My father bought this for me. I carried it with me everywhere. I must have seen "Reality Bites" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's" a million times on that little thing. Looking at that television brings back so many memories of a time long gone and now VCR tapes are basically obsolete.

I'm also throwing out a lot of my clothing and fitting everything into 2 suitcases. Every shirt has a memory and a story. Sometimes it was actually painful to put a certain article of clothing in the Donation bag. I thought "I wore that shirt the first time I met Eric" "I remember buying this shirt when I was 17 years old at a flea market" "these used to be my favorite pair of jeans..." There are things I rarely wear, but didn't want to throw away for reasons of nostalgia. But it all ended up in the bag. I zipped the suitcases and twisted the donation bag shut.

Then It was tossed in the studio with the rest of the junk. I can't look back.

I actually began to cry at one point. I don't know why this move is so hard for me. I've only had 2 big moves in my lifetime. Moving from home to Florida for college, and then moving from Florida to Germany.

Does it get any easier? Is it always going to be like this every time? why is so damn hard to let go?

How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Was it this painful for you?

I have to log off, We have a birthday party to attend, and then it will be back to packing for the rest of the night.

On Monday this entire flat has to be empty.

posted by Clarity25 at 12:35 PM |


At March 31, 2006, Anonymous poopiebitch 

Sorry you're finding this move so difficult, sweetie. I've moved around my whole life and am in my 16th home. I had to learn young to let go of things and places that were important to me, and it does get easier with time. At least it did for me. Eventually, you learn not to get attached in the first place, because evetually, you will have to leave it all behind.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Jen 

It is hard sometimes to let go of things, I know after moving so much (14 times as far as I can remember).. the thing is that nothing lasts forever and just because you may not have that shirt or something else, doesn't mean the memory associated with it is gone too. It does get easier and now, I don't really get sad, in fact, other than packing, I like the adventure of moving. I love moving into someplace new and making it my own, no matter how temporary it is. I've never moved across the world, so I can't identify when it comes to leaving a whole different life behind, but life is about the journey, not the destination.. and it will all work out for the best! *hugs* Jen

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Jayne (firestarfae) 

I have moved 9 times in my life (wow, I never thought about it before) and each time was a different experience. Sometimes it was hard to let go and rid myself of unnecessary, yet sentimental, items. But, it does get easier... I've actually gotten used to it, although I don't think I'll move again for quite a while. Take care and remember you always have your memories.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous all-on-paper 

I can't say I've ever experienced having to move. My family moved to my house when I was only five days old, and we've been here ever since. So, although I can't exactly give advice, I just want to say thanks for sharing so much with us of what you are going through. And good luck! It will all turn out well. Time gives the best perspective...

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Niki 

Hey Girl...hang in there. I feel ya. I get really attached and sentimental to places also. I have moved around sooo many times I can not count how many. I just moved 1300 miles last fall and it was really difficult. I went back to visit recently and it was like I had never left. And was ok. And was able to let the place go. You will be able to let it go....

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Amy 

I refuse to get rid of the shirt I was wearing when Avocado kissed me, or even the UNDERWEAR I wore on our first date. I am nostalgic like that. I moved the first time when I was 16 months old. Then not till I went to college, then I lived in three apartments after that (the longest being four years) before we bought our house three years ago. Avocado had stuff in storage for years because he had to move so much. He just yesterday finished clearing it all out and bringing it home. We have a very small house and we both have had to learn to let go of "things". He has a boxes full of phone bills from the 1990's, LOL. When I moved out of my apartment and bought my house, it was not as hard for me because I lived in that apartment with my ex-husband for so long (although having the ocean so close was great). I think that a lot of the stress you are feeling is because you and Eric have had so many lovely times together there. But just remember you guys will be together no matter where you are and that's what's important. OK, I am done rambling.

At March 31, 2006, Blogger Mike B 

Yeah, each move is different. I would like to kid myself that packing your own stuff and putting things to the curb before you move is hard, but the last time around the company worked me until the last day and then the movers showed up and put everything, including dust and debris, into 90 boxes and sent it all over here, where I then had to navigate the strange ways of disposing of tons of garbage without having the necessary skills and experience. Better that you go through this now.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Stephanie 

Sorry to read about your stress. There are myriad psychological studies that have shown that moving is one of the half-dozen most stressful experiences that we go through. May I suggest one thing, though: maybe rethink getting rid of a few of those 'favourite' things. I have moved literally something between 30 and 40 times in my lifetime (and multiple of these moves were across the Pacific). I was always quite ruthless about throwing things out and carrying only a little forward; although I am only 35 I already have a few regrets about things that I disposed of. Best of luck with everything.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous 

I'm a pack rat and I keep everything. It's really hard to release your hold on those tings that have memories for you. Is there any way you can keep them? A move is stressful enough withouth having to throw everything away, sometimes it helps to hold on to somethings. It helps with the difficult transition.

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous 

Good luck with everything. It will be okay in the end:).

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous Tenshi 

I'm thinking you enjoy Germany more than you're willing to admit. :)

At March 31, 2006, Anonymous reva 

Every move is difficult for me. I've moved every few months since I graduated high school. From a dorm room or apartment back to home or back again or to the next college or to a new house. I cry and throw a hissy fit every time becuase even though I love tetris, I'm too discombobulated to stay focused enough to really pack. You should feel good that you ahve the presence of mind to take what you need and still think about things logically and not throw hissy fits. Good job:)

At March 31, 2006, Blogger Rik 

Not counting moves from one side of a city to the other, i've moved 9 times. It was never really that bad for me but i guess that's because we didn't know any different.
I hope yours goes off without any hitches. Keep your wallets/passports/tickets, etc... in your front pockets.

At April 01, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At April 01, 2006, Anonymous Tenshi 

^My god, whatafingbitch.

Anywho... I missed your question earlier.

I used to move a lot before I was 10. It began to wear on my nerves- I could never keep a friend. I think I ate as a stress comfort, so I was a fairly fat child.

Finally, one day onn our last move I tearfully asked my father if we really had to move any more... and could we please stop?

I love my Daddy. He never made us move again.

At April 01, 2006, Blogger warcrygirl 

From the age of 7 until the age of 13 I moved once a year and always in the middle of the school year. We've lived in the house we're in now for 5 years this May and this is the longest I've lived in any one spot in my entire life.

I loathe moving and hope that I never have to do so again. Just the thought of putting all of my belongings into boxes makes me nauseous. Here's hoping you have a smooth, drama-free move.

At April 01, 2006, Blogger warcrygirl 

Oh, btw, I still can't get into the chatroom. :(

At April 01, 2006, Anonymous valerie 

clarity, I moved yesterday too! My first move all alone, without a boyfriend, without the help of my parents. I feel so single woman right now... I realized I have moved six times in seven years in chicago... four times in college. too much moving. I am tired. I want to stay somewhere, I want a home. But it's just another apartment. I feel sad about all this too right now, sad about the changes, but I know it will be good in the end. Take care, girl.

At April 02, 2006, Anonymous Tenshi 

Poor Val :( I know how she feels.

Don't worry. It'll get better. Both of you. Don't forget, things run in circles, and people always get what they deserve eventually. <3

At April 02, 2006, Anonymous autum 

since my dad was in the military when i was younger we moved A LOT. luckily it was all while i was fairly young. by 5th grade we settled. but, when i was 12 years old, i had moved 12 times!! during the transition between colleges and finding myself again i moved a lot, too.
as i get older i find it is more painful. when i was young it was just something we did. i hope to find a nice house for my children so they don't have to move all the time like i did. i am adding it up now... i have moved 28 times!!! yikes, way too much. i think that has a lot to do with why i am so unorganized!!

good luck, clarity!

At April 02, 2006, Anonymous Rachel 

The worst moves for me were the ones after the fire. Our house burned down when I was 12 and we had to move twice - once to get what was salvagable out of the house and into the apartment and then again to the house once it was rebuilt. But the thing is that all of our mementos were in the attic which is where the fire was, so since then we've learned not to grow too attached to that type of thing. All that to say that I'm very picky about the things I keep and all of it fits into one memory box.

At April 03, 2006, Blogger Kathleen 

Moving always sucks, Clarity, because we're all packrats at heart, even people who say they aren't have accumulated more than they possibly need. Wait until you see Breakfast at Tiffany's on a bigger screen. ;-)


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