Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Thoughtless
The topic for Moody Monday this week was "Thoughtless"

Function: adjective
1 : insufficiently alert : Careless
2 : devoid of thought
3 : lacking concern for others : Inconsiderate

Yesterday, I took a short coffee break at work contemplated this. I gazed around the office breakroom seeing if there was anything that defined thoughtless to me... How do you capture that in a photograph anyway?

One of my co-workers entered the breakroom and lit a cigarette. I smiled politely at him and he smiled back. Then he balanced the cigarette on the ashtray and just...wandered off.

hmmm...

I stared at the cigarette, just carelessly left there burning. The smoke rising in tendrils and disappearing into the ceiling.



For some reason it was fascinating the way the fire burnt around the paper in very slow circles.



I glanced at the door wondering if he was going to return or if he had just forgotten.



Eventually it just burnt down to the filter and the fire went out entirely. The cigarette was gone.



He returned to the room, picked up his Benson &Hedges pack off the table and wandered off again.

If that cigarette was my life, I wonder how far it has burnt so far. How much time has been wasted, how many minutes lost on petty things, silly concerns, pointless tears and stupid dramas. Life is so short and fleeting.

My coffee was finished and I headed back to work, but for some reason I had more energy and appreciation for things. All from watching a cigarette burn to the filter. So many thoughts can run through your mind in only the span of five minutes.

strange.

"Be not thoughtless, watch your thoughts"
-friedrich max muller

****

Everything changes when you move to a new location, even if it's within the same town. Suddenly you are taking different roads to work, going to different bakeries and shops. You are passing new streets and homes. At first it's disorienting because you get so used to certain paths over the course of three and a half years...

I snapped two random shots during a walk to get lunch yesterday afternoon.





***

Since we worked the entire weekend and finished a big project last night, We have today off. We were finally able to just sleep in. We just lay in bed when we woke up for a while. I listened to the sheeps baaing, the birds chirping and random sounds of nature.

"This is weird.." I said suddenly. "Without internet or a telephone..We're kind of isolated in this little underground bunker here..."

"Yep", Eric agreed.

Suddenly we heard the sound of leaves crunching under someone's feet. The sound grew louder. I peered through the window. "Who's that? It sounds so close... but I can't see anyone?"

"It's...the others..." Eric teased.

I realized that I'm not used to living in the middle of nature. There are so many creepy sounds at night especially. The owls, boars, and last night I swore I heard a wolf...is that possible?

I'm in an internet cafe right now. I decided to drop in here on the way home from food shopping to check my E-mail. I was hoping to receive a notification concerning Eric's greencard..or maybe a response to my last letter sent to the embassy. No such luck.

It costs a Euro for every 15 minutes, so I have to post this quickly and log off before the computer starts demanding more money.

Plus there is some creepy drunk man gazing at me a little too intensely from another computer station right now. I need to get out of here.

 
posted by Clarity25 at 1:42 PM |


10 Comments:


At April 11, 2006, Anonymous fifi 

"The others" reminded me of the time my husband and I were staying in a tent on a campsite, and there was a sheep pasture nearby. Only we didn't know. The noise sheep make munching grass, when you hear it just the other side of your wee, thin, tent, is utterly terrifying when you have no idea what it is!
I hope creepy internet café guy left you alone.
Take care of yourself!

At April 11, 2006, Blogger Nightmare 

I love the creepy outdoor sounds! It reminds me that I'm not at work....which I hate and I hope to be done with this gig soon.

At April 11, 2006, Blogger Crystal 

I was just reading about this and I'm not sure if you knew or not. I remember you talking about it before.

In the movie Dallas, so far they're negotiating these people for the cast:

Jennifer Lopez...Sue Ellen Ewing (in negotiations)
Shirley MacLaine...Miss Ellie Ewing (in negotiations)
John Travolta...J.R. Ewing (in negotiations)
Luke Wilson...Bobby Ewing (in negotiations)

All I have to say is... JLO for Sue Ellen? Are they serious? None of these actors, aside from Shirley MacLaine fit any of these parts. John Travolta could MAYBE make it work...

At April 12, 2006, Anonymous Loewenzahn 

I am always surprised and it is really nice to see how many beautiful places and houses you recognize in that little town. Somehow I start to feel proud to come from there - thank you! ( By the way, there is a guy that owns some wolfes, near the forest, but they are in a CAGE ).
Hope your waiting for the greencard will end soon. Have a happy eastern!

At April 12, 2006, Anonymous reva 

I love the cigarette pic as the thoughtless entry! I've always wondered what they looked like if you let them go all the way, but I've never smoked or known anyone who was patient to let me see it go all the way down. I'm sooo pulling for you to get that green card soon!!!

At April 12, 2006, Blogger Stacia 

The pictures of where you are staying are beautiful. I hate those little garden gnomes. They're everywhere in WI too. I hope you get your visa stuff soon.

At April 12, 2006, Anonymous Hannes 

Yes, I have to agree with Loewenzahn. I look at this town differently now ever since you started this photoblog. You show all the beauty in architecture that I just pass every day without a second thought. I love your photography!

At April 13, 2006, Anonymous Kiosh 

Why is it that every time I read your diary I feel like when I'm listening to Nanang Tatang? I feel peace, calmness, beauty, happiness, reflection...

I send you both much, much sparkly love and big star rain extravaganza hugs! Be well and smile! =0)

At April 13, 2006, Anonymous K-Star 

I know you read the notes before they are posted so you may be able to read this note and delete it, due to the sensitive information it contains:

I want to send a little musical gift to you guys, so, if you feel up to it, let me know. I promise I'm harmless and a good person, LOL! Plus, you'll get the answer to *the* mystery! The question I always avoid! He he he. Oh, by the way... WHAT? ERIC'S DIARY? WHERE? I read about it on a note you left in Beck's journal and am so excited! I'd love to read it, I mean, if it's going public and all. =0)

At April 13, 2006, Anonymous K 

Oh no! It got posted right away! Shimatta! Lo siento mucho!



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