Function: adjective
1 : insufficiently alert : Careless
2 : devoid of thought
3 : lacking concern for others : Inconsiderate
Yesterday, I took a short coffee break at work contemplated this. I gazed around the office breakroom seeing if there was anything that defined thoughtless to me... How do you capture that in a photograph anyway?
One of my co-workers entered the breakroom and lit a cigarette. I smiled politely at him and he smiled back. Then he balanced the cigarette on the ashtray and just...wandered off.
hmmm...
I stared at the cigarette, just carelessly left there burning. The smoke rising in tendrils and disappearing into the ceiling.
For some reason it was fascinating the way the fire burnt around the paper in very slow circles.
I glanced at the door wondering if he was going to return or if he had just forgotten.
Eventually it just burnt down to the filter and the fire went out entirely. The cigarette was gone.
He returned to the room, picked up his Benson &Hedges pack off the table and wandered off again.
If that cigarette was my life, I wonder how far it has burnt so far. How much time has been wasted, how many minutes lost on petty things, silly concerns, pointless tears and stupid dramas. Life is so short and fleeting.
My coffee was finished and I headed back to work, but for some reason I had more energy and appreciation for things. All from watching a cigarette burn to the filter. So many thoughts can run through your mind in only the span of five minutes.
strange.
"Be not thoughtless, watch your thoughts"
-friedrich max muller
****
Everything changes when you move to a new location, even if it's within the same town. Suddenly you are taking different roads to work, going to different bakeries and shops. You are passing new streets and homes. At first it's disorienting because you get so used to certain paths over the course of three and a half years...
I snapped two random shots during a walk to get lunch yesterday afternoon.
***
Since we worked the entire weekend and finished a big project last night, We have today off. We were finally able to just sleep in. We just lay in bed when we woke up for a while. I listened to the sheeps baaing, the birds chirping and random sounds of nature.
"This is weird.." I said suddenly. "Without internet or a telephone..We're kind of isolated in this little underground bunker here..."
"Yep", Eric agreed.
Suddenly we heard the sound of leaves crunching under someone's feet. The sound grew louder. I peered through the window. "Who's that? It sounds so close... but I can't see anyone?"
"It's...the others..." Eric teased.
I realized that I'm not used to living in the middle of nature. There are so many creepy sounds at night especially. The owls, boars, and last night I swore I heard a wolf...is that possible?
I'm in an internet cafe right now. I decided to drop in here on the way home from food shopping to check my E-mail. I was hoping to receive a notification concerning Eric's greencard..or maybe a response to my last letter sent to the embassy. No such luck.
It costs a Euro for every 15 minutes, so I have to post this quickly and log off before the computer starts demanding more money.
Plus there is some creepy drunk man gazing at me a little too intensely from another computer station right now. I need to get out of here.
