This morning I woke up before the alarm clock went off. I lay there in bed just staring up at the ceiling. I could hear the sheep baaing in the distance and the birds chirping aimlessly. The trees swaying outside cast shadows across the bedroom walls. I felt lost in this temporary new home.

The first thing I thought was: "I can't believe I'm STILL in Germany"

I feel as though I'm trapped in a television series that was cancelled 2 months ago. I can't get out! I'm stuck in this state of limbo. How can I still be here in this country?? When am I going to get out? Will Eric's Green Card ever arrive?? Will I just be wandering from home to home in Europe for months?

I watched every hope get destroyed.. one by one.

"I hope I get home by Jan 26th..."

"I hope I get home by March 3rd.."

"I hope I'll be home by the first of April.."

"I hope I can be home in time for my brother's birthday.."

"I hope I can be home in time to see my father before he leaves for Iraq.."

It's too late. My Father is leaving today. I spoke to him on the phone. When I hung up, I just felt incredibly sad. I felt like I was on the outside, looking in on my family through a dusty window from the other side of the world...

"Maybe you're still in Germany for a reason", One of my friends here suggested this weekend. "Everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe this was the time you needed for closure. To say goodbye. To be ready to move on to the next stage of your life. At first you weren't ready at all, you had unfinished business to take care of here"

This is true. I guess I should just appreciate the time I have left and stop feeling fear over my circumstances. I just have to be in the moment and be patient. Everything will fall into place.

When it does, I'll be ready.

****

This weekend was relaxing.

Saturday we had a sushi night at our friend's apartment. We made more sushi than we could possibly digest in one sitting and watched old episodes of MAX (an animated MTV cartoon from the mid-nineties)



Easter Sunday, we had a nice breakfast in the winter garden with "Cha Cha" and then had an Easter Brunch with some friends at the Cafe Wunderbar.



Monday we also had off, because it's a holiday in Germany. We lazied around and watched episodes of our new boxset.

It turns out "Greys Anatomy" and "House" are not available in Germany yet. Desperate Housewives and CSI were sold out. All the other options were overpriced. So Eric returned from Karstadt with THIS:



A box set starring BILL COSBY called "Tennis Schlagger und Kanonen" (In America it was called "I SPY"). I just stared at his choice in confusion.

"What is that??"

"It's a great show from 1965, a classic!"

"Have you ever SEEN it before?"

"No, I just heard it was great...from my mother."

Well, it turned out to be entertaining. Seeing Bill Cosby in his twenties, all fresh faced and wearing nothing but a tight orange bathing suit bottom was strange. The music is funky though and we're learning all the hip lingo from the sixties. It's funny, to say the least.

The only problem is how females are portrayed in this series. They are either..

1. Manipulative evil wenches
2. Utterly brainless bimbos.

There is no middle of the road. At the end of each episodes, the females are tossed aside. The funky music starts and the two spies stroll off together all cool. Yeah..alright. whatever.

Has anyone else seen this show?..or even HEARD of it?

This is what happens when I let Eric pick the boxset.

****

On a final note.

There has been a major advancement in our relationship with "Cha Cha". Although it started off rocky. Now we love that kitty to death. I realize that I'm getting very attached to that little feline. I'm actually going to miss her when I go..

Photobucket is now offering free video hosting, so here is a video of Cha Cha in the winter garden this morning.



Not the most exciting footage to start off with. I'm sorry.

But hey, it's a start.

Update: Sorry, Link is temporarily broken, I'll fix it when I get a chance