Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The clock is ticking
Image hosting by Photobucket

This morning I woke up before the alarm clock went off. I lay there in bed just staring up at the ceiling. I could hear the sheep baaing in the distance and the birds chirping aimlessly. The trees swaying outside cast shadows across the bedroom walls. I felt lost in this temporary new home.

The first thing I thought was: "I can't believe I'm STILL in Germany"

I feel as though I'm trapped in a television series that was cancelled 2 months ago. I can't get out! I'm stuck in this state of limbo. How can I still be here in this country?? When am I going to get out? Will Eric's Green Card ever arrive?? Will I just be wandering from home to home in Europe for months?

I watched every hope get destroyed.. one by one.

"I hope I get home by Jan 26th..."

"I hope I get home by March 3rd.."

"I hope I'll be home by the first of April.."

"I hope I can be home in time for my brother's birthday.."

"I hope I can be home in time to see my father before he leaves for Iraq.."

It's too late. My Father is leaving today. I spoke to him on the phone. When I hung up, I just felt incredibly sad. I felt like I was on the outside, looking in on my family through a dusty window from the other side of the world...

"Maybe you're still in Germany for a reason", One of my friends here suggested this weekend. "Everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe this was the time you needed for closure. To say goodbye. To be ready to move on to the next stage of your life. At first you weren't ready at all, you had unfinished business to take care of here"

This is true. I guess I should just appreciate the time I have left and stop feeling fear over my circumstances. I just have to be in the moment and be patient. Everything will fall into place.

When it does, I'll be ready.


This weekend was relaxing.

Saturday we had a sushi night at our friend's apartment. We made more sushi than we could possibly digest in one sitting and watched old episodes of MAX (an animated MTV cartoon from the mid-nineties)

Easter Sunday, we had a nice breakfast in the winter garden with "Cha Cha" and then had an Easter Brunch with some friends at the Cafe Wunderbar.

Monday we also had off, because it's a holiday in Germany. We lazied around and watched episodes of our new boxset.

It turns out "Greys Anatomy" and "House" are not available in Germany yet. Desperate Housewives and CSI were sold out. All the other options were overpriced. So Eric returned from Karstadt with THIS:

A box set starring BILL COSBY called "Tennis Schlagger und Kanonen" (In America it was called "I SPY"). I just stared at his choice in confusion.

"What is that??"

"It's a great show from 1965, a classic!"

"Have you ever SEEN it before?"

"No, I just heard it was great...from my mother."

Well, it turned out to be entertaining. Seeing Bill Cosby in his twenties, all fresh faced and wearing nothing but a tight orange bathing suit bottom was strange. The music is funky though and we're learning all the hip lingo from the sixties. It's funny, to say the least.

The only problem is how females are portrayed in this series. They are either..

1. Manipulative evil wenches
2. Utterly brainless bimbos.

There is no middle of the road. At the end of each episodes, the females are tossed aside. The funky music starts and the two spies stroll off together all cool. Yeah..alright. whatever.

Has anyone else seen this show?..or even HEARD of it?

This is what happens when I let Eric pick the boxset.


On a final note.

There has been a major advancement in our relationship with "Cha Cha". Although it started off rocky. Now we love that kitty to death. I realize that I'm getting very attached to that little feline. I'm actually going to miss her when I go..

Photobucket is now offering free video hosting, so here is a video of Cha Cha in the winter garden this morning.

Not the most exciting footage to start off with. I'm sorry.

But hey, it's a start.

Update: Sorry, Link is temporarily broken, I'll fix it when I get a chance

posted by Clarity25 at 4:31 PM |


At April 18, 2006, Anonymous all-on-paper 

Ah, the trend is catching on. Cats doing random things on camera :P I would love to see if you could get Eric to dance on camera. Haha.

At April 18, 2006, Anonymous poopiebitch 

Cha Cha is a cutie! We just brought home two kittens yesterday, and I can't stop watching them play. I hate to admit how sappy I am, but they're just so damned ADORABLE!

At April 18, 2006, Anonymous autum 

clarity, check your email if you get the chance! :o)

At April 18, 2006, Anonymous portia 

The cat looks so soft and fluffy! I had heard of I Spy, but how the heck it gets translated to Tennis Schlagen and Hankerman is beyond me! I had to read about the box set to Zoltan :)

At April 18, 2006, Anonymous taneruk 

Wow, I can't imagine Bill Cosby as younger than he was in the Cosby show.

My mom is obsessed with some of the old shows she used to watch back in the sixties and seventies, so she gets all the boxed sets. The portrayal of women is something that really annoys me about them, which is probably why I don't enjoy the shows as much as she does.

Cats make the best subjects, for photos and video...

At April 19, 2006, Blogger MamaKBear 

Aw, sweetie! I'm sorry you didn't get home in time to see your Dad before he had to leave again...just think, though...next time he comes home, you'll be there to greet him!

I have heard of that Bill Cosby show, though I've never seen it...a bit before my time.

Lastly...you make me miss my kitty!

At April 19, 2006, Blogger Kathleen 

I think I might actually have seen an episode of I Spy at some point. Robert Culp and Bill Cosby are classic! I'm going to have to add them to my Netflix queue (it's only up to over 300 movies). I might get to them before I die! ;-)

Still working on that e-mail to you. I'm a complete slacker!

At April 19, 2006, Blogger Nightmare 

So there I was blogging and thinking to myself...Self! Where are all of the cat videos?

Self said "Who fucking knows but I think we should look for some!"

I agreed and lo and behold there was one right here done masterfully by Clar-Bear.

Cats are good!

In the right sauce!


No amount of sauce will improve the taste of cat.

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous Tenshi 

Hey there. Love the sushi night idea, wish I had someone around here that knew how to make the stuff! Gah, I'm so deprived. :(

Not too many new pics of Keegan lately, but I did make a new entry. Luckily.

This weekend will be spent cleaning...

Next time, don't let Eric go by himself... he may come back with Green Acres. FYI, check out the "Dead Like Me" series, it's two seasons in from Showtime - you'd love it.

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous niki 

Hang in there. I totally feel for ya in the state of limboland that you feel you are in. I am in the same state. You have said good bye to the old life. Waiting for the new life to start. And there is nothing in your power you can do to make it come faster. Its incredibly depressing. But I know I am being taught patience for the greater good. You will figure out what lesson you learned from this experience...maybe endurance.

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous Acorn 

Acorn here, just saying hi. Love the animal pics.

At April 19, 2006, Blogger Octavia 

Cats playing around like that on the floor is so cute. I've never been one to coo so much over babies, but when cats are adorable I just gaze at them.
I agree with your friend about your time in Germany. Think of it like this, it is a DEFINITE that within the next three months you will be back in germany. It is certain that within the next 6 months, you and Eric will be in america, etc etc.
I mean, if you think where you were six months ago to where you are now...so many changes happen.
But I understand your irritation at the whole limbo ish situation.
I hope the green card arrives soon.

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous poopiebitch 

I LOVE the new pic at the top of the page, when did you put it up?

Please tell me it's you... PLEASE.

At April 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous 

That's definitely Clarity.

Either that or she found a photo of her identical twin.

But It's been 4 years since I've seen her. I could be wrong.

At April 26, 2006, Blogger Mike B 

Sad but true, "I Spy" is classic American television.