I was nervous and I messed up a few times. Speaking German can be difficult when I'm not really concentrating, It's especially hard when you're trying to make a positive impression on your father-in-law. It's simply not my mother tongue. The heat rose to my face every time I stumbled or searched for the right word to convey my thoughts.
I wish the call had gone a little better but I guess it could have gone worse...
We've arranged a meeting for Friday evening.
Eric is naturally nervous about meeting this man that is a virtual stranger to him. This is an encounter we both anticipated, wondered about and feared...for a long time.
*****
We've been working a lot lately, Our boss hired us for a new project. It's small and wont bring in much income, but at least we're still employed. It's something. It will hold us over until we find a better-paying temporary job. We're still searching.
During our walk today into Town, we snapped a few photos. It was a bitter cold day. There are certain parts in town that are so old, It's like stepping into an old Brothers Grimm fairy tale.. Antique buildings, arch ways and sculptures. Today everything was shades of gray, with an ominous feeling...
About an hour ago, I was really frustrated. I called a friend from College to vent and was surprised to discover that she was going through a situation much more pressing and upsetting. A frightening situation with her husband. She asked for my advice, I couldn't find the right words.
"What should I do?"
"I don't know..but his behavior should definitely raise red flags for you, I think you should reach out for help"
"Have you ever been really afraid by someone's behavior and felt trapped?"
"Yes, a number of times in my life." I told her "Once when I was 15 with a man from the internet and another time a few years ago with a friend suffering from Schizophrenia"
Today I'm posting two of my previous entries from my locked diary to show that the scope of human personalities is vast. You can not assume that the person you're dealing with adheres to the same rules of rationality and logic which you deem to be common sense. It can be very dangerous to think "they wouldn't do this to me.... I know that person.. How could anyone?"
Both of these entries illustrate situations in which I was sincerely scared, but escaped unharmed. It just shows the unpredictablity of human behavior and why some actions raise red flags for me. I've been burnt in the past. Both were difficult for me to open up about. But my friend wants to read them and I told her I would post them here. A few people know about this aspect of my past, some do not.
- Internet friends - July, 2004
- Schizophrenia - May, 2004
In the end, it's only the stinging pain of the blister that teaches you respect for the fire.
