carpe diem

This is my photoblog.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

This morning I woke up to the sound of the beeping alarm clock and my youngest sister's terrified screams. She clutched me tightly in the darkness.

"Make it stop!!! What's that noise!!!?!"

I crawled across my parent's bed and silenced the alarm. "It's just the alarm clock!"

"Mom never uses an alarm clock! That's scary!"

My Mother has some kind of built in biological clock that wakes her up every morning at 5:30 A.M. regardless of the time that she went to sleep. It's bizarre, I don't know if anyone else is capable of doing this, but I can't.

Then the day began. I had to iron my sister's uniform, fix her tie, get her lunch packed, brush her hair, make her breakfast, make sure she had everything. The whole time the cats were meowing to be fed..and I kept tripping over them in my rush. Michael started dragging his water bowl across the floor with his paw spilling all the liquid along the way.

I slipped on the kitchen tiles and fell. I think he did that on purpose. He gave me a bored disdainful glance and strolled away with his tail up. That's what I get for not submitting to his demands for food immediately.

"You cooked the pretzel too long", Amber complained "Mom always does it perfect, you put too much salt on it"

"Well, who eats pretzel's for breakfast ANYWAY?"

"My hair is lopsided, Mom knows how to style it just right"

"Well, I don't work in a salon and as you can see..." I gestured towards my own lopsided pony tale and hair in disarray "I suck at hair styling!"

"you put my lunch in the wrong place"

"Can you just go brush your teeth, we're going to miss the bus!"

Amber's eyes filled with tears and her chin trembled. "I wish Mom was here"

*sigh* oh boy....

My Mother left last night at 7:30 to the Airport. She's in Jordan right now with my father. I'm still waiting for her call to confirm that she arrived safely.

I have a whole newfound respect for her, Not only does she work full time, but she juggles a lot in the house. Motherhood AND a job. When does she have time to BREATHE?

I did laundry today, mopped the floors, did the dishes...

Day One of playing Mom. Not as easy as I imagined. Plus, How do I tell my adult brother and sister what to do? How do I balance being the "cool older sister" and making sure nothing gets out of hand. How do you find a balance?

I wonder what kind of mother I'll be in a few years. I'm afraid I'm going to be terrible at it.

I just got back from having a coffee and cigarette outside. I snapped this quick shot for my photoblog.

Honey: I love you. Are you sure you want to have kids with me?

posted by Clarity25 at 9:51 AM

11 Comments:

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At January 19, 2006, Kathleen

It is amazing, isn't it? The whole juggling kids/works/home thing...that's why I don't do it. ;-)

And just tell Laura and Jay that a little help would not be remiss. They're old enough to pull their own weight.

At January 19, 2006, Anonymous

I wake up 5 minutes before my alarm and lay there staring at it, and its not just my daily alarm if I reset my alarm for a different time I wake up 5 minutes before that too! I always have. I think perhaps the alarm makes a little sound 5 minutes prior to alarming.
I have a vintage Beatles shirt that was J's when he was 10 or 11(noticing the yellow submarine shirt) he bought it when all the Beatles were still alive.
and if your sister was your child she wouldnt be complaining that she wished her mom was there and telling you that your doing everything wrong...so its more like babysitting really because they know that since your their sister they can get away with stuff they couldnt with your mom.
Hang in there!!

At January 19, 2006, Anonymous

I have the same Yellow Submarine Beetles shirt!

Sorry this morning was a struggle, but it's like that the first day. You'll get into the swing of things and by the end of the week you'll be a pro!!

At January 19, 2006, Anonymous

Love that pic. It so captures smoking in the backyard: cold, a little hectic and rushed... and usually I am seeing just that part of your body, while your rearranging my hair.-good times!
which brings me to the hairstyle subject: You don't suck at it at all. I don't care what I look like afterwards, but you always do it with such love. If your little sis can"t see that, its her loss. You have to remember: Everyone is constantly trying to lay their trips on each other---who knows why! your little one is somewhere deep inside really confused and dissatisfied. She's just trying to make you feel bad, so she has the upper hand. Don't fall for it!!! She doesn't know any other way to express herself. She can't yet formulate her needs and emotions, or evaluate correctly wether they are legitimate. You're jobs is to help her and that also includes not to always give in to her.

You are going quite through something. I am breathless just reading about it.

I hope your not the only one doing the chores.

And yes I still want to have chillen witchuuuu! Lots! -(that is I want it lots - not toooo lots of them) And you will be an amazing mother...because you are an amazing person, the most amazing I have ever met in my entire life. And therefor you'll be the most amazing mother---period!
Don't let anyone lay trips on you, mmo-key!
Love you insanely!!!!!

At January 19, 2006, Anonymous

How does everyone know its a yellow submarine shirt???? Did I miss a decade or something?

At January 19, 2006, Rik

terrible mother? nonesense, you get to manipulate, i mean mold them from scratch. You may be a bad mother to your little sister, but that's only because YOU didn't raise her. Don't worry about it. You'll be a good mother.

At January 20, 2006, Anonymous

Thanks for the comment dear. I love this blog...I might even start up one here for myself!
Think we do have SIMS 2 and SIMS Bustin' out but I haven't had a chance to really play around with it...my cousin is home for the holidays and he just plays 'MOST WANTED' and 'Grand Theft Auto'.
Enjoy playing "mum"...hope it gets better dear!
~smooches~

At January 20, 2006, Anonymous

Playing mom... hmmmmm, it isn't easy... but I agree with Eric, you seem to be doing a great job. As for your little sis, she seems to be the typical little sis, mine is a whole lot older, but she's still giving me the odd "but mom this and mom that", but she always ends up calling me so I, ME, can drive her some place, not MOM, ahhh, little sisters! ;-)

At January 20, 2006, Anonymous

Don't worry...you're doing fine! When I was eighteen, I had to care for all my brothers from about 2-7 p.m. (which is nothing compared to what you are doing). I remember the time I panicked because I didn't know how to cook...hotdogs. Yeah. So like I said, you're doing fine. What IS it with moms and that built-in alarm clock? Hope your mom arrived in Jordan safely and that they are having a great time.

At January 20, 2006, Anonymous

i love your pics here. and, i just noticed in this one you are wearing a yellow submarine shirt just like the one i own!

i am glad today is going better for you.

At January 21, 2006, Anonymous

Eric;
lol - it's kind of hard to miss the fact that it's a Yellow Submarine shirt. You can see two letters of the big, bubbled font that say "Yellow Submarine" (you can see the "w" and the "S" at least) and the periscope is kind of timeless.

Of course - as Americans who are bombarded by media - we could probably tell you what any logo is just by seeing a 1" square of it.

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