Hey it's Eric again. I am so sorry that you guys already had to wait so patiently for me to answer your intriguing questions. I really must say I didn't expect such a great turn out and that makes me feel real guilty for not having gotten around to provide your well-deserved response.
But our life is really hanging by a thread right now. Of course it's always to be expected that every once and a while one hits a rough spot. "In every life expect some trouble...if you worry...you make it double..." (drums on stomach and whistles tune. Tune dies out into a long exhausted sigh)
But damn! When you hit that rough spot! It doesn't matter how much you prepare. You can tell yourself that you're not materially attached every day of the week and sure you believe it. You can play the Buddha on the mountain top when everything is just fine and dandy but when someone pulls away the carpet under your feet it just knocks the wind out of you! (I think it's just supposed to)
So you're wondering what happened?
Where shall I begin? I was still standing on my feet when this Embassy thing kept dragging on...and on...and on... We calmly moved out of our flat on two weeks notice, throwing away 90% of all we ever owned. We moved into our bosses.."bomb shelter". Without a word of complaint, we then gave up that little underground dwelling to move to a place where foxes and hares tell eachother goodnight. I became a five year old again under the watchful eyes of my dear guardian mother who hasn't noticed that I aged a bit...
We dealt with the idea that we couldn't leave this country together and the fact that our money was is so tight that we have to turn every penny around twice and it seems like this city is already closed down for us. But when every source of income is removed and we discover that our interview is scheduled a week after the date of Clarity's nonrefundable ticket to New York. That was the straw that broke the camels back.
Its just when there is nowhere to move and control is taken out of your hands, the panic sets in. The last inkling of illusion that there is still something one can do is removed, and the last step to letting go, to give up, to just give yourself into the flow of the river that you fell into is just ever so scary. I still feel that this moving season is a precarious time and that I have to make sure everything goes like clockwork. I just haven't quite understood yet that everything does take care of itself and there never was any control.
Deep inside, I know however that the worst of times are the best of times. After all: anything else I had, anything else that I've been trying to control was nothing but a distraction from what is really important. It's like a heavy curtain is opening up in front of me and on a stage with all props removed is the one thing, the one person who is important to me, waiting for me. And the play that is on is the next act of my life. And it hasn't been written yet. Not even in sketches.
And when I look at that image I realize that nothing is more exciting then an empty stage with my wife...waiting for me to play.
So I hope you forgive me for not answering right away, I'm still busy picking up my shell-shocked pieces while Clarity is dangling on the other side of the bridge's railing only held by my tight grip.
Since this IS a photoblog, Here's some photos I took far away from where the action is.
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